I jumped off the biggest ledge on sunday, from an already deep end of a pool that I’ve been drowning in for the last 8 months…
I feel happy. I started my journey to not dying a banker in May and its been a hell of a trip.. Mentally!
I’m starting to believe that everything is starting to happen that I’ve been bitching about for almost 2 years.
I quit my job at the Treasure Island one week into it.
Being a part of that industry has officially gotten to me. I still haven’t figured out how to explain it.. I just can’t stand being ‘professional’ anymore.. I know that i’m good at it. I’ve proven it to myself in many ways.. I learned a lot of things about myself when I started working in the financial industry in 2009.. But the biggest and most important thing that I learned is that i’m just not that person.. No matter how good I am at it, it just isn’t me.
I’ve never quit a job before..
I resigned from all of my jobs and I’ve always had some kind of backup plan…
I have nothing right now. All I have is my burning desire to work for myself and I’m fucking scared as hell.
But I haven’t felt This okay in a little while..
Its wrecked really. But I’m placing all of my faith into this set of risks that I’m taking.
I’m not the most faithful person in the world when it comes to placing my fate into the world with hopes of success…
I just don’t trust people and I’ve been proven right too many times..
Its time to take another chance and see if what the world… My world has been telling me is true.
I’m starting to feel like everything that’s been happening in my world has led to this. I’ve no more excuses!
I want too much for, in, and out of life to just sit the fck down and take what’s been given to me… Hell, i’m not even saying that I’ve had a hard life! But I am saying that i’m not satisfied with catching up and then getting comfortable with a life that isn’t what I Want
Besides I’ve been Trying to take it haha the shit keeps coming man. So its time to change the gameplay and start fighting life back.
You can’t chase a dream sitting on your ass yanno? I’ve been dreaming so much that its starting to exude. I’ve got a vision that I just can’t explain.. A dream that’s worth more than my reality.. It’s just something that you’ll see when it makes sense..
it’s in my hands to turn that shit into reality.. No?
My dream is to be a successful human being and remaining a tangible human for everyone to see.
A major lesson that I’ve learned (trust me, there’s been MANY)
Is that I must help myself before I even consider helping anyone else.
I’ve been lower than I could ever remember in these past months and I’m finally, FINALLY attempting to take a stand. A real stand..
No more excuses.. No more plans and back up plans…
Idk. I’m starting to repeat myself. Haha but then again… It doesn’t really matter. I’ve been repeating the title to this entry in my head for the last 3 days, 2 of them which I’ve spent locked in my room working hard on this site.
“Practice what you Preach”
Haha I’m the biggest hypocrite when it comes to taking my own advice.
I’ve been watching people chase their dreams and take chances my whole adulthood and I’ve envied every individual story that’s been shared with me..
I’ve always feared failure and I’ve Always let it hold me back. I’ve also always had a believable excuse for never taking chances, which I still stand by.
I’m a complex person
inside and I obsess over thoughts until I find an acceptable place for them..
Lately I’ve had a whole cluster-fuck of thoughts swirling around and depressing the Shit out of me. I mean really.. Its been bad… But its weird…
I quit the job and suddenly…. Hopefully… Everything has gotten better in my mind..
It is only day 3 though so let’s not bank on anything 😉 haha…
Any who. I think that I’m taking today off from the site, but who knows..
Dan Meets World 2.0 is coming. New site and an e-store to purchase prints of my pictures.
No date yet. Just progress. My birthday (9/1) is the true deadline
Stay tuned. I love you <3